- A horror show that none of us wants to go through
- Operation ‘Get Shorty’ could be avoided – here’s how
- Make this an essential part of the return to normal life…
Do you want to know more about successful dieting?
Here’s an insight into how I manage my weight… it’s a story about keeping my shorts!
Let me explain by taking you back a day or two in time…
I felt like one of those folk at an Alchoholics Anonymous meeting…
…”my name’s Ray and I might be a little overweight!”
Having admitted the fact I’m not sure that I feel liberated or that the task of changing my situation is any easier…
…also having made my announcement in front of my smirking family hasn’t helped either!
Let me explain how I came to be in this predicament.
My beloved wife, Lara, began her preparations for summer by declaring that the house needs a declutter and ransacked my ‘drawer of many things’ in the kitchen.
You know, the one where us blokes tend to lob the left over bits from the flat-pack wardrobe we made seven years ago, a spare battery for a mobile phone that went out of fashion in 1984 and keys to cars and houses we have long since forgotten about… so the really important stuff!
But things that you never know when you might need them – those strange angle brackets from that wardrobe might be needed for a tricky shelf job, the battery as a valuable collector’s item on E-Bay and the keys for a theatre prop should someone from the RSC drop by… OK… so it’s really just your average tat, but I love hoarding things!
Having made headway with my ‘Man Drawer’ she went straight to the heart of my being… my clothes museum.
In here are t-shirts from gigs I went to in the 1970’s and 80’s with my flowing locks and a belt made of used .303 bullets (which is still in there), faded denim jackets still smelling of ancient Patchouli oil and my famous collection of Bermuda shorts which still see action on the annual family holiday.
Even Lara knows better than to touch the shirts and jackets, but the shorts are always on her hit list.
Sun-faded and battered, they are a constant thorn in her side when we stroll along the promenade at Armacao de Pera on the Algarve, but I love them.
I knew she was after their demise but I didn’t realise how cunning a woman could be… until now!
The horror of a post-lockdown fashion show
I walked right into this one – a lamb to the slaughter you might say.
The impact of the various lockdowns and restrictions in the last two years has affected people in many different ways.
For me, it was food.
I lived like a Roman emperor, being offered tasty morsels at every turn and never being denied a second helping. Unsuspecting of the true nature of this largesse, I never refused.
But, at the weekend, the mood changed…
…I was confronted by a pile of my favourite old shorts and told to go to the bathroom and change into them one at a time and have their fit assessed by my family gathered on the sofa.
Shamefaced I shuffled before this collection of hanging judges as they gave an unceremonial thumbs down to at least 80% of my favoured garments.
As each pair’s turn came I huffed and puffed, breathed in as far as I could and even contemplated using shoe horns to try to get the buttons and zips done up… but to no avail.
I had been well and truly outflanked, and the victor stood applauding as I loaded the failed items into a charity sack, weeping gently as I did so.
The battle may be lost, but the war isn’t over.
By a true act of cunning I have hidden the fateful sack in the garage, and now have embarked on a rescue plan to get them back…
…operation ‘Get Shorty’ is in progress, and I have gone into the zone to lose the extra pounds that were so callously forced upon me!
At least that’s my excuse.
Begin to dig your own tunnel to weight loss victory – click here for details
The truth is though that Lara wasn’t standing there force feeding me as if I was a Foie Gras goose.
It becomes all too easy to point the finger of blame elsewhere when it comes to our own expanding waistlines after a Bank Holiday period like we’ve just had, but also to view the process of regaining our normal weight as one of a state of purgatory.
It really needn’t be.
The first step is to accept that we probably won’t ever see rippling tummies or chiselled pectorals ever again, but we all know what a sensible weight is for us.
Making a start on achieving a comfortable body shape and size needn’t be a hard slog – and heavy diets and arduous exercise regimes that force your body to lose weight are exactly the wrong thing to do.
We should all learn from Lara’s cunning – what we need to do is work with our body’s desires to lose weight, make it easy to do so and encourage success rather than despairing over failures.
A good friend of mine developed a well proven way to do this and her programme offers the true secrets of weight loss; for instance:
- If you’re doing everything right but still can’t lose weight, this programme will help you discover exactly what’s stopping you from losing weight.
If you feel that overeating is your problem then it’ll show you exactly what you need to do to bring your appetite down naturally, painlessly and help you enjoy what you eat more.
- And if it’s just that last half a stone that eludes you then prepare to see it vanish!
So, start your summer by supporting your body back into shape the easy and proven way – click here for details